If this world were mine

I went to work today after being off for awhile. I have been hypothyroid for over 25 years and this past year I have struggled so much with this. I have been in a bad place and I was really afraid of dying last year.

I don't even know how to explain what I was feeling. I had finally made up my mind that I wanted to experience so much more than I have - after all, isn't 50 the new 40? I want to hike, scuba dive, be on television, get a golden globe for the best new t.v. show, have a radio show on XM, meet Oprah, write a New York Best Seller, walk the Avon Walk, run in the Richmond Marathon, have long hair and it not be a weave, but if it is a weave make sure it is a great one, wear a size 12 skirt, wear sexy high heels, go on a cruise, make director in YTB, make a million and more, travel to the caribbean with Pete and sleep on the beach; get promoted; clean out the garage, finish the basement, expand the kitchen, teach raw classes all over the US. Have Tyra Banks ask me how I did it; get my teeth fixed that they are so pretty, I smile all the time, go to Europe and Africa, preach all over the U.S. and the Island and even in Africa. And that is just want I want to before July.

If this world were mine, I would do those things and more. I have to ask why some folks are more successful than others, and what are the missing ingredients - I am seeking answers to many questions, and willing to seek so much more. I laid here tonight and relized that if I wanted to run, I would have to start. I imagined myself beginning with my road here, which is 1/4 mile. Why not!!! I also have the elliptical to bring up my endurance - so I begin again because this world is mine.