Welcome to my world! I need to make some changes, so I am now creating an independent blog. This will be my journey to wholeness. I am recovering from the flu, hypothroidism and bad habits.
This year - 2008- I want to lose all the extra weight I am carrying around. My self imagineis at zero, my hair is gross, my skin is dry and face it, I am not feeling attractive, or even cute! Are they one in the same - I suppose so. I haven't felt good for years and it is time for a change - new beginnings and all.
Right now my attitude is not reflect of the God that I serve - and that too has to change. I can ask for anything of my heavenly father, and yet, here I am saying what I have. Time for a change.
Well, my plan is to be free of this - my first goal is 40 pounds -That will put me at 250 - actually I bit under, but that is what I am shooting for - a weigh in at 250. Why is that so important, because I have not seen that in years and it is time for a change. What will that do for me- end the diabetes, the hypertension, the high cholesterol and savings of 200 dollars a month. Will we see the savings? I will need to see and go from there.
That is the other part of this journey - how will I be of better service to God. I want my life to be a testamony to the God I serve. God is always so good and true to the word and yet, my doubts come in and then I act contrary to what the word says.
Hey, I will discuss my daily meditations as well. This will be a good space for me - now let me be true to me and accountable to God.
Tonight, I am watching "Queen Sized" - even as an adult, I still deal with being fat. I believe if I were single, I would have had gastric bypass - I just know I would have. Why not now? Let me ponder - well what would my husband say, what would my children say - and I too far gone, that the surgery may kill me - do I not want to be considered weak minded. Hey this is my blog - and I might as well just be honest. Will I receive comments for or against - probably - but I am used to negatives - should I be accepting of this, or how can I change it.
Am I willing to be a role model for someone else? Am I already? I have been called a king and queen maker. I am a really good friend and will support a person to the end, but who supports me? Who supports me? This question has plagued me for years. I ask it, and then I move forward and pick up the baggage and keep going on , and I push the thought back in my heart. So some of this weight is my feelings. WOW - what a revelation.
I will take measurements tomorrow and post a picture - I have not changed much, so I will just go forth and take it one day at a time. I know one of my gifts to me, will be a digital camera. I am taking pictures this year - I am coming out!
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